Refusal skills

OK, all that stuff tells me how to avoid situations where I might get into trouble. But what if I get in a bad situation and I have to talk my way out of it? Or what if I have a pushy boyfriend or girlfriend? What do I say?

1. Say no and keep saying it. Don’t offer reasons or excuses. Say no.

2. Ask the other person why they keep pressuring you when you have said no.

3. Walk away from the person and refuse to discuss the matter further.

4. Know how to counter the lines people throw at you. Here’s some examples:

Pressure line: If you care about me, you’ll do it.
Response: If you care about me, you’ll respect my feelings and not push me into something I’m not ready for.

Pressure line: If you don’t do what I want, I don’t want to see you anymore.
Response: If that’s the way you feel, I’m not sure I want to see you anymore either.

Pressure line: I know you want to.
Response: If I wanted to, I wouldn’t be arguing with you about it.

Pressure line: Touching each other in certain ways is just part of growing up.
Response: You need to grow up and get your information right. Being mature means deciding what you believe in and sticking to it.

Pressure line: We’re going steady. It’s OK.
Response: Going steady doesn’t make sex OK for me. Going steady won’t prevent pregnancy or stop a disease.

Pressure line: You let me before. Why not now?
Response: It’s my body and I have a right to change my mind and not do that anymore. I don’t have to keep on doing it.

Pressure line: You’re acting like a little kid.
Response: No, I’m acting like a mature, responsible person who knows the facts and has made the right choice for myself.

Pressure line: Aren’t you curious about it?
Response: Yeah, I’m curious about a lot of things but that doesn’t mean I have to experience them, particularly if I can get hurt.

Pressure line: If you want to be popular, you’ll go farther that just kissing.
Response: Who am I going to be popular with, people who want to use me?

Pressure line: Don’t worry, you won’t get pregnant or catch a disease.
Response: How do you know? Do you think we’re better than every other person on earth?

Pressure line: You got me excited and now you have to do something about it.
Response: I don’t have to do anything. I certainly didn’t intend to have sex with you. (Hint: You probably won’t have this problem if you make it clear that you are practicing abstinence before you go out with someone)

Pressure line: Doesn’t it look great in the movies and on TV?
Response: Yeah, but that’s not the real world. It’s fake, like wrestling.

Pressure line: But I love you.
Response: If you love me, you’ll respect my decision.

Pressure line: But everybody is doing it! 
Response: No, they are not. And a lot of the people who do it end up being sorry about it. Besides, I’m not everybody. I know what’s right for me.

Pressure line: If you won’t do it, I’ll find someone who will.
Response: If that’s all I mean to you, then find someone else. I wasn’t put on earth for you to use.

Pressure line: If I don’t relieve this tension, I’ll be in pain.
Response: No you won’t, that’s a myth. Besides, if we do it, we might both be in pain if we get pregnant.

Pressure line: What’s wrong with you?
Response: Nothing. Things are right with me. There’s nothing wrong with choosing to wait to have sex.