Help for Parents

Is it inevitable that your child is going to have sex as a teen? Can you help them abstain or are you wasting your time?

A lot of parents believe there is no use to try get their kids to abstain from sex. That’s just not true. Sixty percent (60%) of kids 16 and under have not had sex. The statistics vary when you talk about teens in their senior year of high school, but the percent of kids who have not had sex ranges from forty percent (40%) to fifty percent (50%). And half the kids who have done it once are not doing it regularly. Most kids who have sex as teens don’t have more than one or two partners.

So what do all these statistics mean to you? That you have a chance to help your child wind up in the group that does not have sex.

Even if your child has had sex, he or she doesn’t have to continue doing it. Ever heard of secondary virginity? That means a teen made a choice that they don’t want to make again. People who choose secondary virginity start practicing abstinence again; they quit having sex. Secondary virgins tried having sex and found out it wasn’t all that.

10 THINGS KIDS WANT PARENTS TO KNOW

Over the years, kids have given their opinions about the help they need from you, their parents. The following list was developed by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.

1. Show us why sex before marriage and teen pregnancy are such bad ideas. For instance, let us hear directly from teen mothers and fathers about how hard it has been for them. Even though most of us don’t want to get pregnant, sometimes we need real-life examples to help motivate us.

2. Talk to us honestly about love, sex, and relationship. Just because we’re young doesn’t mean that we can’t fall in love or be deeply interested in sex. These feelings are very real and powerful to us. Help us to handle the feelings in a safe-way - without getting hurt or hurting others.

3. Telling us not to have sex is not enough. Explain why you feel that way, and ask us what we think. Tell us how you felt as a teen. Listen to us and take our opinions seriously. And no lectures, please.

4. We need real answers on how to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Talk to us about the importance of abstinence.

5. If we ask you about sex, don’t assume we are already having sex. We may just be curious, or we may just want to talk with someone we trust. And don’t think giving us information about sex will encourage us to have sex.

6. Reward us for making the right decisions. This will make us want to keep doing the right things.

7. Sometimes, all it takes not to have sex is not to have the opportunity. If you can’t be home with us after school, make sure we have something to do that we really like, where there are other kids and some adults who are comfortable with kids our age. Don’t leave us alone so much.

8. We really care what you think, even if we don’t always act like it. When we don’t end up doing exactly what you tell us to, don’t think you’ve failed to reach us.

9. Show us what good, responsible relationships look like. We’re as influenced by what you do as by what you say. If you demonstrate sharing, communication, and responsibility in your own relationships, we will be more likely to follow your example.

10. We hate “The Talk” as much as you do. Instead, start talking with us about sex and responsibility when we’re young, and keep the conversation going as we grow older.

See number 7 above? Where it says "Don't leave us alone so much."? If you go to the link in our site with the title "5 Tips for Talking to Your Child" there are also "5 Helpful Hints To Monitor Your Child's Behavior".