Examples of How a Partner Tries to Gain Power and Control in a Dating Relationship

Isolation

• forbids you to talk to your friends
• accuses you of cheating
• decides the social and school activities in which you will participate
• controls what clothes you wear
• discredits your parents advice
• encourages you to turn against your parents

Emotional Abuse

• puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself
• breaks dates or cancels plan without any reason
• embarrasses you in front of family and friends
• uses words or tells jokes that humiliate you
• uses drugs and alcohol to excuse abusive behavior
• changes moods abruptly

Sexual Abuse

• pressures you to engage in sexual activity
• spreads rumors about your sexual behavior
• puts down or makes fun of your sexual behavior

Threats

• threatens to hurt you if you decide to break up
• threatens to commit suicide when you talk of breaking up
• threatens to hurt others who talk to you
• threatens your family and friends

Bossy

• makes all the decisions in the relationship
• uses phrases like, "I just showed who’s boss" or "I just made it clear who runs the show" to justify abusive behavior

Intimidation

• destroy your personal belongings
• speeds or drives recklessly to scare you
• uses a loud or intimidating tone of voice
• calls repeatedly to check up on you or to harass you

Stalking

• frequently follows you
• makes persistent and unwanted contacts
• leaves messages intended to show that you are being watched

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