The Cycle of violence
| Tension-building
phase Begins to blame you for things that go wrong in the relationship. Tries to control what you do. Threatens to hurt you if you don’t follow orders. You feel confused and worried. You feel as if you are walking on eggshells. |
|
Violent
and abusive phase Becomes physically violent and/or emotionally abusive. You are afraid for your safety. |
| Honeymoon Phase Apologizes and promises that the violence and abuse will never happen again |
Every
couple experiences ups and downs
in their relationships. There
are times when everything is wonderful, fun and romantic. There
are other times when tension exists in the relationship because
of disagreement around an issue, event or behavior. When a couple
in a healthy relationship experienced tension, they take time out
to talk and to resolve the situation in a way that is respectful
to both parties.
In a battering relationship, the controlling party will verbally insult, physically humiliate or sexually assault the other. After the blow-up the batterer might apologize for what happened and promise never to act that way again. The abused partner wants to believe this and welcomes back the partner. Because the batterer’s apologies are ways of manipulating the victim into staying in the relationship and not sincere efforts to change, in time, the tension will begin to grow and the cycle will repeat itself.
The cycle
of violence can be broken
when the abuser admits sole
responsibility for violent and abusive behavior and gets help.
The cycle can also be broken when the victim safely and with
support leaves the abusive relationship.
The victim
is Not to blame
The abuse and violence get
worse and happen more often the longer a couple remains in this
kind of relationship
